And so as the sun sets on my trip - one I thought would be a simple vacation with nothing but sunshine and the beach - I'm leaving having learned more than expected. More about my relationship with my brother; more about myself; and more about gift of getting to know strangers.

It came to me the reality that I wasn’t living. I was keeping experiences from myself and had some how managed to stamp a huge “handle with care” sign on my life. I’ve spent so many years and an excess amount of effort protecting myself from things that may have helped me grow. Not only was the island a place of freedom – a life lived in the essence of their small world amidst a vast ocean of clear blue water – it was a smack in the face. One slap to the left cheek for never truly understanding how lucky we are as Americans; how fortunate I am as a woman who has had many doors slammed in my face, yet always someone waiting to help me on the other side. One slap to the left cheek for giving up on a profession (because a family seemed more important to me) that I watched young adults fighting for in lieu of their misfortunes based on our bias American standards.

There seems a disconnect between what I thought was living and what really is. Anal, particular and far too entranced in what could be instead of what is, I’ve come to the conclusion that what is meant to be will be. And on the way to that place, the goal is to touch everything it has to offer. Handle, taste, smell and feel all there is in that moment. Embrace the people who walk your way; ask intimate questions in a non-intimate setting for the sake of learning something greater than a simple name and what they do. For you never know when you’ll cross the path of a young man who on a short vacation seemed to steal your heart through is character, uncanny humor, strong laugh and an open book of a life; or the willingness of individuals to unquestionably take in a visitor as a friend; or the pleasure two quaint French men can impose on your temperament while riding horses in the Caribbean rain.